How to Encourage Recovery in a Loved One and What Not to Say

Watching someone you care about struggle with substance use or mental health challenges can bring up a mix of emotions. You might feel worried, exhausted, hopeful, or unsure of what to do next. At Longboard Recovery, we talk with many families who want to be supportive but do not know where to begin. The good news is that your presence, understanding, and encouragement can make a meaningful difference in someone’s healing.

Start by Listening With Care

One of the most powerful things you can offer is a safe place to talk. Many of our clients share that they struggled quietly for a long time because they feared judgment or disappointing the people they love. Listening with patience and curiosity can help your loved one feel less alone.

Try asking open questions like “How can I support you right now?” or “What feels hardest for you today?” You do not have to fix anything. Your willingness to listen can create space for honesty and connection.

What Not to Say

If you are worried about saying the wrong thing, you are not alone. Many families tell us they hesitate to speak up because they do not want to add pressure or make their loved one feel misunderstood. A few common phrases often come from a place of care but can land in a way that feels discouraging.

Instead of saying things like “You just need to try harder” or “Why can’t you stop,” try offering gentle, supportive language. You might say, “How can I support you right now” or “What feels hardest for you today.” These kinds of conversations create safety, trust, and connection, which are key parts of recovery.

The goal is not to find perfect words. The goal is to show that you are present, patient, and willing to walk alongside them without judgment.

Encourage Professional Support

Recovery is a complex process, and having professional care can help your loved one stay grounded and safe. This might include medication management, mental health treatment, therapy skills, or a combination of approaches. You can offer support by helping them look for providers, attending virtual appointments with their permission, or simply reminding them that reaching out for help is a strong and healthy step.

Clients often tell us that having a family member or friend encourage treatment helps them feel motivated and less overwhelmed by the process.

Set Boundaries That Support You Both

Supporting someone in recovery does not mean saying yes to everything or ignoring your own needs. Healthy boundaries can protect your wellbeing while still offering care and compassion. This might look like limiting late-night crisis calls, choosing not to engage in arguments when emotions are high, or seeking your own support through therapy or community resources.

When you care for yourself, you are better able to care for someone else. Recovery is not only about the individual. It is about the support system around them too.

Celebrate Small Steps Forward

Recovery rarely happens all at once. It is built on small, consistent choices that slowly create change. Celebrate progress, even if it feels minor. Maybe your loved one attended a virtual appointment, opened up about how they are feeling, or made a healthy decision in a difficult moment.

Many clients share that these moments of encouragement help them believe in their own ability to change. Recovery becomes less about perfection and more about steady, compassionate effort.

Remember That You Are Not Alone

Supporting someone through recovery can be emotionally heavy at times. It is okay to ask questions, seek guidance, and reach out for your own support. You do not have to navigate this alone either. At Longboard Recovery, we work with many families who want to understand the process and feel confident in how they show up for the people they love.

If you or someone you care about is navigating substance use or mental health challenges, we are here to help. Reach out to our team to learn more about how we support individuals and families through every step of the recovery process.